Robot Pirate
by OnePieceisGod
Summary: Your 'favorite' commercials with a One Piece twist. I'll add one every time I see a lame or funny commercial worth making fun of.
1. Chapter 1

Robot Pirate

Your 'favorite' commercials with a One Piece twist. I'll add one every time I see a lame or funny commercial worth making fun of.

Commercial 1- Gieco.

Spokesman: "Gieco, 15 minutes online could save you 1500 dollars or more on car insurance. So easy, a fish man could do it."

Later that day in a fine restaurant......

Spokes man: "Um.............. I'm sorry....... I-I-I had no idea you guys were still around............... or.... even existed."

Jembie, Arlong and Hachi sat in front of the spokes man ordering food.

Jembie: "Well next time, maybe you should do some damn research before you racial profile somebody. We even live on a fucking place called FISHMAN ISLAND for god sakes."

Hachi to the waiter: "Um, yeah I would like Takoyaki please." Hachi turned to the Spokesman, "That wasn't too EASY..... was it?"

Arlong growled viciously.

Jembie held a hand on Arlong, "Easy there big guy." 


	2. Chapter 2

Robot Pirate

Commercial 2- Quiznos

Therapist: "The talking toaster isn't real Zoro."

Zoro: "Are you fucking sure!? He keeps telling me to put my 'Sub' into him! What the fuck is that gay shit about man!?!?"

Therapist: "..................... Well that is quite strange...."

Toaster: "Zoroooo....."

Zoro: "Holy Shit! He's here................. h~e~l~p~m~e......!"

Toaster: "Put your sub inside me Zoro.......... I want it so bad."

Zoro: "GET THE FUCK AWAY!!!!!!!!!" 


	3. Chapter 3

Commercial 3- Starburst

Shanks: "Well look at this! One contradiction, eating another!"

Luffy: "What are you talking about?"

Shanks: "Luffy, you're a pirate who can't swim. You don't make shit worth of sense man. And Starburst is like a solid, yet juicy, LIKE A LIQUID!!!"

Luffy: "Wow Shanks! You're right!"

Shanks: "Fuck yeah I'm right!, Look! Another contradiction! It's Johnny! The Fish man devil fruit user! Hey Johnny!"

Johnny: "Hey."

Shanks: "Grab a starburst you ironic freak!" 


	4. Chapter 4

Commercial 4- Whopper

Luffy: "Aw man! How did we make a turn to Burger King? I want McDonalds damn it!"

Sanji: "Well, let's just eat here."

Zoro: "No way."

Sanji: "Why?"

Zoro: "Well............................ I have these, tiny hands................"

Luffy: "......................Dude.................. that's fucked up."

Zoro: "I know! I'm a freak! I can't go in there! According to commercials all the Whoppers at Burger King, small hands like mine are just going to look smaller."

Sanji: ".......................................................................... So,.......... Let's go eat Luffy." 


	5. Chapter 5

Commercial 5- Sprint

Welcome to the Pirate Now Network. Right now, 600 pirates are filming their fights. 300 just died because they were paying more attention at their phones and not at the guy stabbing them in the chest.

15 are playing the mobile version of One Piece: Ultimate Cruise. 3 of them just lost to Lucci in vs. mode.

6 are looking for swords online. Zoro just out bid Tashigi.

123 are looking up their character on youtube to see if their latest appearance on the show has been made into a music video yet. 113 are extremely disappointed.

69 are writing fanfics. Only 50 will be read. And only 23 will get at least one review.

7,000 Americans are looking for a better english version of the english dub. 5,000 can't find it, 1,000 are reading the updated Japanese manga, and 1,000 more decide to watch Naruto instead.

6,000,000 anime fans around the world are arguing about which is better, One Piece or Naruto. There seems to be no winner at this time.

This is the Pirate Now Network, and all this shit........... is happening now. 


	6. Chapter 6

Commercial 6- Skittles

Brook (Normal/Human/Skin Form): "WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?!?!?"

Franky: "What?"

Brook (Slightly Older): "I told you NOT to eat the Skittles in my hour glass! Look! You're speeding up time! How many did you eat!?!"

Franky: "Like 2................. 9..................... maybe a whole bag's worth. You don't look THAT bad."

Brook (Skeleton form): "...........................You're a dick." 


	7. Chapter 7

Commercial 7- Wendy's

Nami in extremely tight and small clothes: "It's better than just fast food, it's Nami's"

Viewer: "Wouldn't mind eating some of THAT." 


	8. Chapter 8

Commercial 8- Old Spice

Zoro vs Kuina: Kuina wins, of course.

Zoro: "Hi, I'm Roronoa Zoro, and that was me, before I started using Swagger, from Old Spice."

Sanji famished and deprived of food when he was younger.

Sanji: "Hi, I'm Sanji. That was ME before I started using Swagger form Old Spice."

Luffy getting his ass kicked by Humuga the Bear.

Luffy: "Monkey D. Luffy hear. That was ME before I started using Swagger form Old Spice."

All three: "Use Swagger form Old Spice, and maybe you can be like us! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Zoro: "hehhe.............. probably not." 


	9. Chapter 9

Commercial 9- Fruit by the Foot

Zoro: "I replace your cigarettes with fruit by the foot."

Sanji: "Jerk............ I replace your swords with fruit by the foot."

Zoro looks down in horror: "You bastard! YOU CAN BUY MORE CIGARETTES! THESE ARE PRICELESS!!!"

Sanji smirks: "Tch. I replace your hair with fruit by the foot too."

Zoro feels his hair, a clump of fruit rollups fall off, "WHAT THE FUCK!?!"

Sanji howls in laughter.

Zoro grins devilishly, ".......... I replace you PENIS with fruit by the foot."

Sanji gasps and stretches his pants to look inside, "You.... you....... SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Zoro: "End Game Bitch." 


	10. Chapter 10

Commercial 10- Vegas

Shanks: "Hey boss, I'm... gonna take a few days off to celebrate an old Irish traditional."

Mihawk: "Oh? And what traditional holiday is that?"

Shanks: "Gay Leprechaun Pride day. You see, back in the 1600's Leprechauns realized they lived forever, so reproducing wasn't a major need. And getting board of the same kind of sex for endless centuries wasn't fun so they decided to fuck the same sex. But villagers despised this and would kill all the gay leprechauns, even the lesbians, of course, since they are all harry, the women screwing each other was considered disgusting too. The leprechauns rose up and killed the villagers who didn't accept their life styles and today we celebrate those fallen leprechauns on Gay Leprechaun Pride day."

Mihawk: "........... How do you celebrate?"

Shanks: "5 days in Vegas."

Mihawk: "........................................ Don't give me that shit Shanks. Anyone with an OUNCE of Irish blood knows Gay Leprechaun Pride Day was last month. Get back to work you lazy shithead." 


	11. Chapter 11

Comercail 11- KGB

Luffy: "Wow, Buggy is such a loser, but do think there is anything gayer than being clown pirate?"

Usopp: "I don't know. Let's KGB it."

Nami at KGB headquarters: "Is there a type of pirate gayer than a clown one?"

Zoro: "Well, you could a ways be a transvestite pirate."

Nami: "Hm. Transvestite it is."

Buggy walking down the street. Ivankov jumps him from behind.

Ivankov: "I'LL SHOW YOU GAY, BITCH!"

He attacks Buggy and starts humping his face, 'tea-bagging' him.

Buggy: "OH MY GOD NO!!!!!"

KGB: Why use wikipedia right? 


	12. Chapter 12

Commercial 12- Gieco

Zoro walking down the street.

"Tell me who's watchin. I've got a feeling, like somebody is watching me."

Zoro turns around hearing the music and notices the stack of money with eyes.

Zoro: "Hey! It's the money I could be saving with Gieco!"

A van roles up and Jembie, Hachi and Arlong get out.

Jembie: "There it is!" pointing a the money, "We got a message for your boss!"

Arlong stomps on the money and kick it against the wall.

Hachi: "Who too stupid to use the net now bitch!"

They get back in the van, Jembie looks at Zoro, "You're not going online to Gieco are you?"

Zoro: "No, Noooooo."

Jembie: "Good."

They drive off.

Gieco, uh................ I don't feel TOO safe saying anything at this time. 


	13. Chapter 13

Commercail 13- Trojan Condoms

Nami: "Sanji, I don't think we should have sex tonight."

Sanji: "Damn it!, er,... I mean, WHY?"

Nami: "Well,.... I'm just afraid something could happen."

Heroic music plays.

Sogeking: "HAHAHAHAHA! HERE! Use SOGE CONDOMS!"

Nami: "Wow! Thanks Sogeking!"

Sogeking: "Dooon't mention it! Just doing my job! And now, with the new style, Soge Condoms are ALWAYS efficient AND effective. Plus, it's like wearing nothing at all!!!! HAHAHAHA!"

Sanji: "Thanks again Sogeking. You saved me,... er, I mean US."

Sogeking: "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Soge Condoms, it's like magic,....... or............ something close to it,..... if they work,..... hopefully they will. 


	14. Chapter 14

"Commercail" 14-

Chopper: "WWWWWWAAAAAAA!!!! I want to be in commercial you bastards! Why couldn't you put me in the last one!?!?"

Creator (me): "BECAUSE! The last commercail was about sex and condoms! You're a deer for god sakes, we ain't prmoting beastiallity here!"

Chopper: "I WANT TO BE IN A COMMERCIAL! THE FISH MEN HAVE TWO!"

Jembei: "What the FUCK do you mean when you say that?"

Arlong growls.

Chopper: "Uhhhhhhhhh.................... Nothing." 


	15. Chapter 15

Commercial 15- Gang Wars

This week on AET (Anime Entertainment Television), it's the timeless stoy of,.... West Coast Ninjas vs East Coast Pirates.

Luffy: "Yeah man! I mean, I don't wish no disrespect on the motherfuckers, but when you start dissin' our show we gotta react man."

xXxXxXxXx

Naruto: "This is war! They know it! We know it! I'll die before I let some bitch-ass pirates take over our ratings!"

xXxXxXxXx

Sasuke: "They should know we better, now they gonna pay for it."

Relive the classic and most controversial confrontation that shook the world to it's core.

Zoro: "Naruto's a bitch,"

Usopp: "Yeah."

Zoro: "Sasuke's a bitch,"

Usopp: "Yeah."

Zoro: "They all bitches. Every last one of those gay-ass ninjas"

Usopp: "Yeah."

xXxXxXxXx

Shikamaru: "Fuck all those wankster motherfucking pirates! They all bitches."

Choji: "We gonna have a dead pirate before this is though."

Relive the deaths.

Zoro: "When Luffy got shot in Vegas, and I wasn't there, I... I.... I felt like if I was just fucking there man! I could have stopped it."

xXxXxXxXx

Shikamaru: "Naruto and Sasuke, gettin blown up with Shanks........ in that McDonlads, it was as real as this shit was gonna get. I... I still..... can't believe they gon."

Relive the confrontations.

Reporter: "Here at the Anime awards, star of One Piece, Roronoa Zoro and star of Naruto, Sasuke Uchiha have created a massive brawl."

xXxXxXxXx

Reporter: "We don't have all the details but, shots were fired, medics are carrying them out now, Usopp, Sanji and Franky from One Piece, Shikamaru, Garraa and Rock Lee form Naruto."

xXxXxXxXx

Shikamaru: "Getting shot was hard shit to deal with man..... I-i-it's like......... realizing you're mortal you know?"

xXxXxXxXx

Sanji: "Man that shoot out in that place was it man, after getting shot, I was like, never again man, never again."

We have cried, and they have bleed, for all in the name of Anime, let us remember these hard times.

Anime Wars: Ninjas vs Pirates, All week this week on AET, starting a 9/8 central. 


	16. Chapter 16

Commercial 16- Travilocity

*DING-DONG*

Zoro walks to the door of his house to open it. "Hello?"

Kuma stands out side.

Zoro: "KUMA! Shit! Come on man, I just moved in, don't teleport me please."

Kuma: "I won't Zoro-san, as long as you can answer this question."

Zoro: "Fuck....... please tell me it's not THAT question."

Kuma: "If you were going on a trip, where would you like to go?"

Zoro: "Ah damn it.................. I don't know, Japan?"

Kuma raises up his hand.

Zoro puts his hands up in useless defense, "SHIT!"

Kuma pulls out a laptop, "When you go, why not use Travilocity to travel, saves money on hotels and airline tickets."

Zoro: "......... Uh.......... thanks man............"

Kuma: "Don't mention it Roronoa."

Kuma walks away and Zoro is still trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

William Shatner busts out of a bus. "PRICELINE NEGOCIATOR! What!? Damn it! That Kuma bastard beat us again. KUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

Kuma walks over to him, "Suck it Shater." he uses his devil fruit power and teleports Shanter somewhere else. "How s that for 'Beam me up Scotty'?" 


	17. Chapter 17

Commercial 17- Verison

Zoro's phone rings and he answers, "Hey Sanji, what's up?.... What? I, I can- I can't hear you!"

He moves, "Can you hear me now!???! How bout now!?!?!"

Moves again, "Can you- what!?! I, I can't hear you!?!? SPEAK UP!!! WHAT!?!"

Moves again, "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!!!!! UGH!!!"

Throws phone across the room, "Stupid Verison network!!!!! 3G my ass!!!!" 


	18. Chapter 18

Commercial 18- Dr. Pepper

Chopper: "It's medically proven that Dr. Pepper tastes better when drunk slowly. Trust me, I know.............. I'm a Doctor."

Creator:"Good, you're in a freakin commercial happy!???"

Chopper: "YES!!!!" he runs off.

Creator: "Whiny little shithead......." 


	19. Chapter 19

"Commercial" 19- The Geko's plan

Moria: "Good evening gentlmen, I've called you all hear to reveil myself. I am the Gieco Gecko!!!!!"

Man 1: "Really?.... But.. you're not an actiual Geko."

Man 2: "Where's your Austrailian accent?"

Man 3: "Why are you so fugly looking?"

Moria: "Quiet!!!!!! Now, you all now why I've brought you all here,...... the Fish-men are ruining my insuance buisness! I have ask for your help because you all know you could be next. Ronald Mcdonald."

Ronald: "Mcky D's Nuts bitch."

Moria: "The Verison 'Can you hear me now' guy"

CYHMN Guy: "I'm sorry what, I didn't hear you."

Moria: "Tony the Tiger."

Tony: "They'rrrrreeeeeeeeeeeee gonna die."

Moria: "Apple and Cinni-Mon"

Cinni-Mon: "Why da fuk R we 'ere?"

Moria: "Comming out of retirment, Mr. Clean and the Brawny paper towle guy."

Moria: "The giant Kool-aid jug."

Jug: "OOOOHHHHH YEAH MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!"

Moria: "Planners Nuts guy, The trix rabbit, the cheetos cheeta, tucan sam, that wierd chick on the proggesive commercails who's name seems to be Flo, the black guy from AllState that for some reason reminds me of Denzel Washington with a deep voice, ............. the strange orange thing on cingular, you are all here! There's alot more but if I named you all we'd be here all day. But you,....... you are the evilest and scaryest of them all, you need your name to be said.............. The Burger King King!!!"

DA DA DAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The King gives Moria a thumbs up.

Moria: "Now....... Let's put our plan in to motion and destroy the Fish men onece and for all!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

All the advertising Icons: "YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 


	20. Chapter 20

Commercial 20- Clorox Bleach

Sanji walks towards Nami with an elegantly elaborate dessert. As he nears her, Sanji PURPOSEFULLY spills it all over her.

Nami screams at him in pure unadulterated rage, "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!"

Sanji just continued to smile, "Oh nothing Nami-swan, just watch this." From out of nowhere Sanji pulls out a Clorox Bleach sprayer bottle.

Sanji sprays it all over her clothes and the dessert stains all disappear.

Nami's face lights up with complete joy, "OH SANJI! THANK YOU!!!!" She came at him as if she was going to hug him unconditionally. Sanji ginned at himself, "Oh it was nothing Nami-swan I-"

*WHACK!!!!!*

Nami hit him on the head as hard as she could and walked away, mumbling "Stupid cook pouring shit on MY clothes just to use that fucking cleaner......"

Zoro was training near by, "What was that stupid scene for?"

Sanji just sat and whined, "I saw it on a commercial that this dude poured some stuff on a hot chick, then he cleaned it with Clorox spray and she fell in love with him."

Zoro: ".............. Wow............. with that, why don't you just try that stupid Axe shit that turns you into chocolate."

Franky over heard the conversation, "Or the even gayer stuff that makes you smell like LEATHER, however the fuck that works."

Sanji looked at them both then sprang up, "YOU'RE RIGHT! Thanks guys!" and ran off.

Zoro: "What a dumbass." 


	21. Chapter 21

Commercial 21- Taco Bell

Zoro walks into a video store, "Hello can I help you?" asked an employee.

Zoro: "No, just need your pennies." Zoro grabs 11 cents and leaves.

He repeats this process 13 more times to other stores and then walks into a Taco Bell.

Cashier: "May I help you?"

Zoro: "Yeah, I would like an 89 cent chicken burrito."

Cashier: "Coming up."

The Cashier counts the pennies, "Sir,.... this is only 88 cents."

Zoro: "Oh, sorry......." he looks at the 'take a penny' cup on the counter : empty. Zoro panics. "SHIT!" a man walks by him, Zoro grabs him and thrusts him against the wall. "YOU! GIVE ME A PENNY!"

Man scared shitless: "W-w-w-what????"

Zoro (insane): "YOU HEARD ME!!! GIVE ME A PENNY!!"

Man : "O-o-ok......"

Zoro gives the cashier the penny beaming with pride.

Cashier: "Uh...... what about the tax?"

Zoro: ".................. GODDDDAMNIITTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 


	22. Chapter 22

Commercial 22- Capital One

Zoro: "Luffy....... what are you doing?"

Luffy: "Just picking my picture for my Capital One Credit card."

Sanji: "Cool which one?"

Luffy: "I don't know....... How about the one where Lucci got his ass kicked and Sogeking took a picture."

Zoro: "No,... My card has me when I was in Asura mode, they're both in Ennis Lobby, you don't wanna look like you're copying me."

Luffy: "What about one of Nami, she is my girlfriend now."

Sanji: "............ Uh but......... I already have my card with a picture of her."

Luffy and Zoro look at Sanji, confused why Sanji has a picture of LUFFY'S girlfriend.

Sanji: "What?......."

Luffy: "Nothing, it doesn't matter, at least I can have a picture of her naked when you don-"

Sanji: "....................................."

Luffy looked crushed and angry. Zoro couldn't breathe from laughing.

Nami: "YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!"

Sanji: "NAMI! H-how long have you been there~??"

Nami starts attacking him, "WHY AND HOW THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A NAKED PITCURE OF ME!?!?!? AND WHY IS IT ON YOUR CREDIT CARD!!!!!"

Nami continues to beat him senseless.

Zoro and Luffy look into a camera.

Luffy: "What's in your wallet?"

Zoro: "Be careful of what it is....... it could get you killed."

Snaji: "NAMI STOP!!!! HELPPPPPPP!!!!!!" 


	23. Chapter 23

Commercail 23- free credit report . com

Hopefully you guys can put a tune to this.

~""~ means lyrics

Luffy singing: ~"Well I wanna be come the Pirate king and be so badass"~

Zoro singing: ~"But the little rubber fucker didn't know his credit was bad"~

Both: ~"We couldn't buy new ship

because some Franky bitch"~

Luffy: ~"tossed 2 million beli down the fucking drain

now we're stuck here on Water 7 and dude it's such a pain

I should have gone to free credit report . com

But instead we're stuck on this island and we ain't going home"~


	24. Chapter 24

Commercial 24- 5 Gum

What does it feel like to chew Five Gum?

Imagine the WhiteBeard War.

Multiply that by 10.

Now have all that happen in less than 30 seconds at once.

Intense right?

Too intense for gum right?

We thought so,................................... those Five Gum commercials are bullshit aren t they??? 


	25. Chapter 25

Commercial 25- Sonic Sanji and Zoro eating at Sonic in Zoro's car.

Zoro: "..Dude!"

Sanji: "What?"

Zoro: "This is a new car. Don't get ketchup on the seats!"

Sanji rolled his eyes, "I'm not gonna get ketchup on the seats."

Zoro: "I see you, the way you always eat a damn Sonic Burger. You DRIP ketchup..... All Over the Seats!"

Sanji: "I do no-"

Zoro: "Yes you do."

Sanji: "Do not."

Zoro: "Yes you do."

Sanji: "Do no-"

Zoro: "Yes you do!"

Sanji: "....................... Do no-"

Zoro: "YES. YOU. DO."

Sanji: ".................. It was just that one time."

Zoro: "Ohhhhhh here we go! The truth is out now ain't it. I told you!"

Sanji:"I know."Zoro:"You think"Sanji:"I know"Zoro:"I'm Lying. I'm not."Sanji:"I know."

Zoro: "This is EXACTLY why I had to get a new car."

Sanji: "............. How is getting in a wreck because you swerved off the road to avoid a kitten the same as getting ketchup on the seats!??!"

Zoro: "................................ I refuse to answer that."

Sanji: "What!? You can't refuse to answer!"

Zoro: "Yes I can."

Sanji: "No you can't."

Zoro: "Yes I can."

Sanji: "........... No you can't."Zoro:"Yes I can."Sanji:"No you can't!"

Zoro: "Get out."

Sanji: "WHat!?!"

Zoro: "Get out. You're pissing me off, get out of my car."

Sanji: "How can you be pissed if you sound so calm!?"

Zoro: "I just can."

Sanji gets out and mumbles, "This is bullshit,......... I'm never coming with you to Sonic again."

Zoro: "Good....... You can't get ketchup on my seats that way."

Sanji: "JACK-OFF!" 


	26. Chapter 26

Commercial 26- eHarmony

Zoro: "I was pretty busy with my sword business to find some body who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, that's when I got eHarmony to find Nami for me."

Nami: "We just love each other so much!"

~eHarmony~

Sanji: "687 rejections!?!?!?!! IN TWO WEEKS!?!?! I only applied for 300!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!??!"

~eHarmony~

Brook: "As you know, I am a skeleton, so the ladies are a little 'freaked out' at me at first."

Flash back to one of Brook's dates-

Brook: "Hello there, may I see your panties? Perhaps we could just go back to my place and have sex there?"

Woman: "YOU SICK PERV!!!!"

*WHAM* *WHACK* *BANG*

End Flash back

Brook: "Regardless,.... for SOME reason I cannot find love. So I use eHarmony."

~eHarmony~

Nami: "What do you mean we can't get a puppy!?"

Zoro: "I have had bad experiences with dogs. That's one of the things I put on my application!"

Nami: "Well one of MY requirements for a guy is: "MUST LOVE DOGS!"

Zoro: "What!? Like that gay movie?"

Nami: "UH!!!! That is a GREAT movie! I cry at it all the time!"

Zoro: "Oh god, you're a chick flick bitch too."

Nami: "WHAT did you call me!?"

~eHarmony~

Sanji repeatedly bashing his head onto the keyboard of his laptop. "I get it!!! No one loves me!! QUIT SENDING ME REJECTION LETTERS!!!!!!!!!!"

~eHarmony~

Nami: "UGH!!!!!! You are such a pig-headed bastard!"

Zoro: "So fucking sorry I don't fit your every damn expectations!!!"

Nami: "I don't need this! I'm leaving."

Zoro: "Fine!"

Ino (Yes,... THAT Ino): "Fuck you too Sasuke! And you know what!? I HATE PUPPIES!!! They're annoying little shits!!!!"

Zoro looked her up and down.

Ino: "What the fuck you want!?!?"

Zoro: "You a whiny bitch?"

Ino: "NO! I'm an excessively annoying easily pissed off bitch!!"

Zoro: "I love hot girls that say whatever the fuck the want,.... wanna make out?"

Ino: "You're a sick bastard pervert,.......... and you're making me really wet inside right now."

Zoro: "Like wise on my hardness you bitch."

They start making out hard and relentlessly as the crash on the ground........ not stopping.

~eHarmony~

Sanji: "My life is over."

Nami taps his shoulder, "Hey.............. you like puppies?"

Sanji's eyes turned into hearts, "FUCK YES!!!!!! I can cook too!!!!!!!"

Nami grinned, "You'll do."

They walk off happy, Zoro and Ino still make out like animals. Brook stands in the darkness as the lights start turning off.

Brook: "Wait........................ Where's MY pussy?????" 


	27. Chapter 27

For all my pervy peeps

Commercial 27- Victoria's Secret

Victoria's Secret model catalogue.

Nami in purple lingerie.

Something for everyone.

Robin in black, slightly see though lingerie.

From the prominent sexy body collection.

Vivi in lingerie.

To the wild vixen set.

Tashigi in lingering,...... she slips and falls while posing.

To the......... ah fuck it. These bitches are hot and we all know it, just by the damn perv attractors and slut makers already.

Sanji watching the commercial at home: "..........Best.......... commercial........... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Zoro, Sanji's roommate, walks in and looks at him. Then as he walks away, "How are the indians in your pants?"

"What?" Sanji looks down, "SSHHHHIIIIIITTTTT!!!!!" 


	28. Chapter 28

Commercail 28- MasterCard

Sengoku: "Damages paid at Eneis Lobby, 3,000,000 Beli.

Damages paid at Impeldown, 4,000,000 belli.

Esitmated damages to be paid at MainFord after the Whitebeard War............... 60,000,000,000 beli!!?!

Oh, but the look on your face when I tell you the next chapter is the last one and I ruined it for you, priceless. No you're sitting there wondering, 'if this is chapter 28, and the last chapter is 29, what the hell is chapter 30? Oh My God!' Hahahaha!

Everything else.............. we got the Marines 'The Few, the Proud' discount mastercard." 


	29. Chapter 29

Commercial 29-

In a warehouse on the docks. Jembei, Arlong, and Hachain are tide up with gags over their mouths.

Moria: "Hahaha! I've got you now Jembei! You and your gay fish man friends. Now with you here, we can all once again rise to our commercials and rule the world! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Jembei: "Not quite Moria."

Moria turned to them in shock: "WHAT!?!"

Jembei, Arlong and Hachi had busted out of their ropes and gags.

Moria: "Damn it! Who the hell tied them up with just rope and handkerchiefs! They're fish men for gods sakes! They have super strength you jumbucks!!!"

Jembie and his men began fighting off the commercial icons in a battle so fierce that I have become too lazy to describe it all.

Somebody hit the Kool-aid guy and his gun went off inside his pants, "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH SHIT!!!!"

He hit Smoky the Bear with his kool-aid pitcher who, ironically enough, had a lit cigarette in his mouth.

The cigarette flew towards, to Jembie's horror, the gas/propane icon, the Blue Rhino.

Jembie: "Shit! Arlong! Hachi! LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!!!"

For some reason the whole world turned into super ass slow-mo mode as Jembie and team S-L-O-W-L-Y jumped out of the ware house windows as the cigarette made it's way to the tip of the propane filled rhino s nose. Morai too noticed this, "Oh fucking shit."

*BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Jembie and his men barely made it out as they crash landed onto the concrete outside of the warehouse while it exploded in 17 different ways and camera angles.

Jembie got up and grabbed a camera, "Robot Pirate. SEASON ONE. Done. See ya later."

Arlong: "Till next season sukas!!!"

Hachi: "Whitebeard! Play us out!"

Next Chapter if you please........................ 


	30. Chapter 30

Robot Pirate Musical Theater Prsents:

The WhiteBeard Pirates in.............. The Neo-Nazi Guild

Ace and Whitebeard in a partial singing toned, cheesy toned conversation. With a tuba playing in the background.

Ace: "Hey Whitebeard!"

WhiteBeard: "Yes Ace!?"

Ace: "We use to have a Swastika on our flag but now it s a cross. What the hell happened!??"

WhiteBeard: "Well you see, apparently because those damn Nazis used the swastika for EVIL PURPOSES, in order to make sure people don't think we are Nazis we had to change it to a more....... 'family friendly' symbol."

Ace: "............ So we got the cross?"

Dead silence

WhiteBeard: "Er..... Well, let s not be harsh about anything, especially someone else s religion."

Silence again as Ace and Whitebeard look into the camera with yes we re talking about you looks.

Ace: "Well I guess there is only one thing we can do now!"

Whitebeard: "Yup! Sing in a mocking manner about how stupid the whole situation is!"

~""~ singing (By the way if you ever heard of the 'This is the way' nursery song, this sounds similar to that, the tuba is still playing and to the tone of the song)

All WhiteBeard Pirates: ~"We are the Neo-Nazi Guild, Nazi Guild, Nazi Guild, We are the Neo-Nazi Guild, just look at our cross bones

It's in the form of a Swastika, Swastika, Swastika; It's in the form of a Swastika, that MUST mean we hate Jews!"~

Ace: "Yeah! We have to be Nazis! There is now other explanation, just look at our devil fruit powers!"

Ace: ~" I can turn into fire, into fire, into fire; I can turn into fire, that MUST mean I burn books!"

Whitebeard: "Guahahahahaha! The lad is 'right' Sengoku said I had the power to destroy the world!"

Whitebeard: ~"I have the power to destroy the world, destroy the world, destroy the world, I have the power to destroy the world, that MUST mean I'm Hitler!"~

Ace: "Yeah! Just look! They BOTH have weird-ass facial hair!"

Whitebeard pirates: "What is Ass Facial Hair!?!?!?"

Ace: "Ahahaha! You guys!"

All Whitebeard Pirates: ~"We are the Neo-Nazi Guild, Nazi Guild, Nazi Guild, We are the Neo-Nazi Guild, just look at our cross bones

It's in the form of a Swastika, Swastika, Swastika; It's in the form of a Swastika, that MUST mean we hate Jews!"~

Whitebeard: "So much for OnePieceIsGod's writing career eh Ace!?!"

Ace: "Yeah! With this little number his street cred is all butt-fucked! Mel Brooks sure would be proud though wouldn't he!?"

Whietbeard: "Ah....... no."

All WhiteBeard Pirates: ~"We changed the symbol in 434, 434, 434; We changed the symbol in 434, cause apparently Buddhism is not okay!  
We are the Neo-Nazi Guild, Nazi Guild, Nazi Guild, We are the Neo-Nazi Guild, just look at our cross bones

It's in the form of a Swastika, Swastika, Swastika; It's in the form of a Swastika, THAT. MUST. MEAN. WE. HATE. JEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWSSS!!!!"~

They finish with 'jazz-hands'.

Ace: "See ya next season fuckers! It's gonna be a doozy!"

-

-  
Went out with a psychotic bang didn't I?????


End file.
